I was waitin' in Rosie's Restaurant
When the waiter came up and said "what do you want?"
I looked at the menu and it looked so nice
Till he said, "let me give you some advice"
He said, "Spaghetti and potatoes got too much starch,
Pork chops and sausage are bad for your heart
There's hormones in chicken and beef and veal
A bowl of ravioli is a dead man's meal
Bread got preservatives, there's nitrites in ham
Artificial coloring in jellies and jam
Stay away from donuts, run away from pie
Pepperoni pizza is a sure way to die
Sugar rots your teeth, makes you put on weight
Artificial sweetner's got cyclamates
Eggs got cholesterol, there's fat in cheese
Coffee ruins your kidneys and so does tea
Fish got mercury, red meat is poison
Salt's gonna send your blood presure risin'
Hot dogs and bologna got deadly red dyes
Vegetables and fruit are sprayed with pesticides
So I said, "what can I eat that's gonna make me last?"
He said, "a small drink of water in a sterilized glass"
Then he stopped and he thought for a minute
He said "Never mind the water---There's carcinogenics in it"
So I got up from the table and walked out in the street
Reliazing there was nothin' I could eat
I ain't eaten for a month and I'm feeling fine
"Cause he did not mention, beer, whiskey, women
And sweet red wine