You're the reason I'm a-ridin' around on recapped tires
And you're the reason I'm hangin' our clothes outside on wires
And you're the reason our kids are ugly, little darlin'
But looks ain't evrythin' and money ain't evrythin'
But I love you just the same

But you're the reason I've changed to beer from soda pop
And you're the reason I never get to go to the beauty shop
You're the reason our kids are ugly, little darlin'
But looks ain't evrythin' and money ain't everythin'
But I love you just the same

I guess that we won't ever have everything we need
'Cause when we get ahead it's got another mouth to feed

And that's the reason that my good looks and figure is gone
And that's the reason that I ain't got no hair to com
And you're the reason our kids are ugly, little darlin'
But looks ain't evrythin' and money ain't everythin'
But I love you just the same

Conway, why in the devil don't you go
And shave and put on a clean pair of pants?
But Loretta, look at yourself now I wish you'd take them
Curlers out of your hair and go put on a little makeup
And get out of that housecoat before supper

Well let me tell you something, Conway,
Considerin' everythin' that I went through today
I look like a movie star yeah, Ruth Buzzie thank you
Besides that, all our kids took after your part of the family, anyway
Oh they did? What about the ones that's bald?
Well, I guess you could say they take after me