Riding down the highway with Cowboy Joe
Met Leonardo DiCaprio, Leo, he's tryin' to get away from
The unwanted advances of Eminem
Em's wearing drawstrings, lispin' along
Sayin', "Please, put me into your highway song"

I say, hey, who's goin' my way
On that great Alaska highway

Well, I would never be so dum
To say they stole an election
They bought the damn thing fair and square

Emperor's in his underwear
Old King Cole's a merry old troll
Surgeon General smokes Marlboro

I say hey, who's goin' my way
On that great Alaska highway
I say hey, who's goin' my way
On that great Alaska highway

Commandment Three says 'Do Not Kill'
Amendment Two says 'Blood Will Spill'
God sits in his rocking chair
Two flat tires and one good spare

Britney Spears joins Cowboy Joe
With a hey and a ho and a do si do

I say hey, who's goin' my way
On that great Alaska highway

West Palm Beach and Cheech
And Rae Dawn Chong, can't we all just get along?
Anchored down in Kodiak with a heart attack-ack-ack
You oughta know by now, By Joel

West Palm Beach and Cheech
And Rae Dawn Chong, can't we all just get along?
Anchored down in Kodiak with a heart attack-ack-ack
You oughta know by now, By Joel

Hanging out with Cowboy Joe
Keith Richards stops to say hello
I play my guitar, he plays along
With song after song, after song, after song

That I've played with the likes of him
Ain't never gonna settle for less, my friend

I say hey, who's goin' my way
On that great Alaska highway
I say hey, who's goin' my way
On that great, on that great

I say hey, who's goin' my way
On that great Alaska highway
I say hey, who's goin' my way
On that great Alaska highway
High five