As I drove to San Diego on a warm summer day
I stopped for a cold beer at a pub on the way
I spied a pretty waitress standing with her tray
She couldn't believe her ears when she heard me say

Waitress oh waitress come sit on my face
Eatin ain't cheatin, it ain't no disgrace
Bring me a cold Guinness and make it a case
Waitress oh waitress come sit on my face

I walked over to the jukebox feeling kind of mean
The waitress said 'hey stupid, that's a cigarette machine'
I turned to the waitress standing by the bar
I said 'honey if that ain't a jukebox, you can smoke my cigar'

Waitress oh waitress come sit on my face
Eatin ain't cheatin, it ain't no disgrace
Bring me a cold Guinness and make it a case
Waitress oh waitress come sit on my face

I come from Lakeside, Lakeside's me home
On the way to San Diego, feeling so alone
Well I got this guitar, I play mostly for me
Put down your tray, get your pay and sing along with me

Waitress oh waitress come sit on my face
Eatin ain't cheatin, it ain't no disgrace
Bring me a cold Guinness and make it a case
Waitress oh waitress come sit on my face

Waitress oh waitress come sit on my face
Eatin ain't cheatin, it ain't no disgrace
Bring me a cold Guinness and make it a case
Waitress oh waitress come sit on my face