It's off the hook home slice, like a lucky fish
All I wish is that you taste this like a Swedish dish
It's the L-A-R-S, H-O double-R I-S
And I represent CV, and yes I must confess:
Im back 2003 and the snare drum pumps
Back up, Kris Kross, it's my turn to jump
See Im a Libra and Im balanced,
Rocking it like Ritchie Valens,
And Im up to this fresh session,
Yes Im up to this fresh challenge
And Im thinking, and Im writing,
And Im rapping, and I'll fighting
All the layers of green apathy
Clogging up the zone
Because I'll analyze your world,
Ill analyze your head
Ill readjust your paradigm with this microphone
I was chilling in my 88 south on 101,
With the woofer in the back bumping PE number one
Free-styling in a genre I didn't create,
Props to Melle Mel, Chuck D, and all eight
Hundred thousand MCs on whose shoulders I stand
Im just a white kid with a plastic jammie in his hand!
See this MC here spends his life feeling fine,
But doesnt't't often get off in a straight line
Fine, time will tell where he's headed
Its up to chance, like Gretels path is breaded
Your criticism? Im above it! Your BS? Lets rubber glove it!
Take your heroin and shove it life youve got to love it
So get this, steal this, deal this, peel this away,
I made this song out of my brain neurons and clay
It helped my brain chill for a week and a day,
Until one day it stopped working like the city of Pompeii
But it's okay, hey, because I roll it home
Knick knack paddy whack, my sonic range his grown
Profound like Antoine De Saint Exuperey,
When I rock the chorus of this song I say
CHORUS
Lars Horris, hey that's me!
Part Swedish, part Australian, full fun boy G
Lars Horris, hey that's me!
I scored 1430 on my SATs
Lars Horris, hey that's me!
Ill rock the CoHo like 1-2-3
Lars Horris, hey that's me!
I drop English and math and biology
I piss Catholics off with my comic in the Daily Whys it called 27th Street? Man, don't front me
Jorge Cham might do PhD, but can he ever try to rock the mike like me?
And Im weird like Al, don't attend Cal, DJs my buddy Whos Mike?
Josh plays bass and I take wedding vows,
To my hip-hop rhymes that Im busting now
And I satisfy women like GERs,
I advocate the destruction of SUV cars
I think Israel and Palestine should get along
I sampled Nine Inch Nails for this song
And Im so post-modern, I don't even exist
Did you hear that P Diddy?
You just got dissed!
Its the twenty-first century, MCs please,
Youre killing hip-hop when you sample the Bee Gees!
Most MCs today rap about five things:
Narcotics, cars, girls, clothes, and the bling bling
Delusions of grandeur in full swing,
Fascist self focus and diamond rings
But if Martin Luther King were alive today,
How would he weigh the decay displayed?
Homogenized identities, ourselves betrayed,
There's more to rap than just getting paid
And there's more to life than MTV and Reeses Pieces,
And when I sit in silence, my love for life increases
It feels great to pull the plug on the family TV,
And make my own niche in society
And while I freak this beat, you're doing spoken word,
Trying to get your naked voice heard
If I didn't know ProTools, I'd be like you
And I could just do spoken word if I wanted to
CHORUS
Lars Horris, hey that's me!
You might see me on the street bumping Run-DMC
Lars Horris, hey that's me!
After my BA I'll get my PhD
Lars Horris, hey that's me!
Metaphysically fly like John Donnes The Flea
Lars Horris, hey that's me!
Rewriting Bronte like Wide Sargasso Sea