You're always up to no good
Your finger's in my cookie jar
You can have my checkbook visa and my mastercard too
Ain't no price too high for what you do

You could be my dog
I could post your bailbonds when cash was tight
We could fall in love
I could be the apple of your eye

Let's do it right now

My new favorite thing to do
Is wastin' my time on a bum like you
My new favorite thing to do
Is wastin' my time on a bum like you

Your car's a dump and you're broke
But that's all right
I never liked them fancy guys
You don't even look good, god it ain't right
But you're starry eyed and out of sight

You could fall apart
I would post your bailbonds when cash was tight
We could fall in love
I could be the apple of your eye

Let's do it right now

My new favorite thing to do
Is wastin' my time on a bum like you
My new favorite thing to do
Is wastin' my time on you

You're always up to no good
You catch on like a bonfire
Every single worn out line is shiny and new
I never met a sweeter liar

You could be my king
I would knit you mittens and make you pie
We could fall in love
I could be the apple of your eye

Take the vcr
Take the keys to my house
The keys to my car
I don't need it no more
Cause you gave me the keys to your heart