I'm only puttin' red on my Christmas tree,
It's a holiday I'll celebrate with my own company
Pour the wine, I'll be fine
Climb the ladder and place the star
Well, Merry Christmas wherever in the world you are

I won't have to deal with your family
The dressing and the stress, dysfunctionality
A two day drive, stuck inside with you signin' in the car
Well, Merry Christmas wherever in the world you are

Don't have to rack my brain tryin' to find you the right thing you won't like anyway
Avoid your flirtin' brother and please your mother or find the right thing to say

I'll hold the remote control on Christmas Day
And I can watch The Grinch and not some football game
I'll order in, call some friends, might smoke me a cigar
Well, Merry Christmas wherever in the world you are

Don't have to rack my brain, tryin' to find you the right thing you won't like anyway
Avoid your flirtin' brother and please your mother or find the right thing to say

instrumental

I won't have to wait for that ring this year
The one you always promised after too many beers
Pour the wine, I'll be fine
Climb the ladder and place the star
Well, Merry Christmas wherever in the world

Merry Christmas wherever in the world
Merry Christmas wherever in the hell you are