I remember back when I was still in school,
These bullies always picked on me, they called me a fool
They knocked me on the ground! (OH! )
They rubbed dog poop in my ears! (OW! )
They kicked me! (Oh)
They punched me! (Ow)
They said; "Come and fight, you wimp!"

(What'd you do! ?)

I faked I had an injury then I ran away!
I ran away, (I ran away)
I ran away! (I ran a-eh-eh-eh-eh ran so far away)
Danger stared me in the face and I ran away!
(Oooh, ooh, ooh ooh, ooh, ooh, I ran away! )
The children always laughed at me after that day,
When I said I tore my ACL and I ran away!

I was playing one day in my back yard,
When I made the perfect snowball, round and smooth and hard
I spotted nasty Ted Jablonski! (Oooh)
I let fly the perfect snowball! (Yeah! )
It smashed the neighbors windshield! (Oh-oh! )
He came out and said; "Who the hell did that! ?"

(Whaat'd youu doo! ?)

I pointed at my sister and then I ran away!
I ran away, (I ran away)
I ran away! (I ran a-eh-eh-eh-eh ran so far away)
Danger stared me in the face and I ran away!
(Oooh, ooh, ooh ooh, ooh, ooh, I ran away! )
My sister was ground for three years and a day,
So I said she was adopted and then I ran away!

I was walking with my girlfriend one night, (Aww)
Two guys were sitting on a bench, they pointed at her and said;
"She's a fat, ugly tramp!" (Ooh! )
"She smells like peanut butter!" (Hey! )
"She's a loser!" (OH!
"She's pedantic!" (OI! )
"She's a mediocre soccer player!"
My girlfriend said; "Make them stop!"

(Whaat'd yoouu dooo! ?)

I dumped my girlfriend on the spot then I ran away!
I ran away, (I ran away)
I ran away! (I ran a-eh-eh-eh-eh ran so far away)
Danger stared me in the face and I ran away!
(Oooh, ooh, ooh ooh, ooh, ooh, I ran away! )
The honor of my woman was one the line that day,
So I told my girlfriend I was gay and I ran away!

I was walking by myself last week, (yeah)
When the devil himself appeared in front of me (oh)
He had fire all around him! (AIII! )
He smelled like a burning tire dump! (WOOOW! )
He opened his mouth and said; "Mike! You're next!"

(Whaaat'd yoouuu dooo! ?)

I came up to the devil! (Oh yeah! )
I poked the devil on the shoulder! (That's right! )

I said look over there, and then I ran away!
I ran away, (I ran away)
I ran away! (I ran a-eh-eh-eh-eh ran so far away)
Danger stared me in the face and I ran away!
(Oooh, ooh, ooh ooh, ooh, ooh, I ran away! )
I'm hoping that the devil smokes two packs a day,
Cause my day of reckoning is here and I ran away!

I ran away, (I ran away)
I ran away! (I ran a-eh-eh-eh-eh ran so far away)
Danger stared me in the face and I ran away!
(Oooh, ooh, ooh ooh, ooh, ooh, I ran away! )
Whenever I was challenged I collapsed like a souffle,
But I'm still alive to sing this song cause I ran away!

Oh yes I ran,
(Oh yes he ran! )
Oh yes I ran,
(Oh yes he ran! )
I ran away!