First you get down on your knees,
Fiddle with your rosaries,
Bow your head with great respect,
And genuflect, genuflect, genuflect!

Do whatever steps you want if
You have cleared them with the Pontiff
Everybody say his own
Kyrie eleison,
Doin' the Vatican Rag

Get in line in that processional,
Step into that small confessional
There the guy who's got religion'll
Tell you if your sin's original
If it is, try playin' it safer,
Drink the wine and chew the wafer,
Two, four, six, eight,
Time to transubstantiate!

So get down upon your knees,
Fiddle with your rosaries,
Bow your head with great respect,
And genuflect, genuflect, genuflect!

Make a cross on your abdomen,
When in Rome do like a Roman;
Ave Maria,
Gee, it's good to see ya
Gettin' ecstatic an' sorta dramatic an'
Doin' the Vatican Rag!