The neophyte lays down the law
And the choir boy
Plays five card draw
All the news
That's fit to print
Rolls right off
Don't make a dent

Diamond Jim, where you hiding
Diamond Jim, where you hiding
When Diamond Jim gets back
Diamond Jim
Will know just what to do

The mannequin takes off her clothes
The clowns are laughing at your nose
The weatherman he is the news
And Dick Clark's
Got the tombstone Blues

Diamond Jim, where youu hiding
Diamond Jim, where you hiding
When diamond Jim gets back
Diamond Jim
Will know just what to do

Where you been so doggone long?
Diamond Jim, don't shine me on

Your homeboy's under house arrest
It all feels too real to be a test
The open mikes are out of poems
And the pleasure's
Leaking from the domes

Diamond Jim, where you hiding
Diamond Jim, where you hiding
When Diamond Jim gets back
Diamond Jim
Will know just what to do
Diamond Jim, where you hiding
Diamond Jim, where you hiding
When Diamond Jim gets back
Diamond Jim
Will know just what to do
When Diamond Jim gets back
Diamond Jim
Will know just what to do