The palace guards they're working hard. They stay up late with beaker jars.
They're mixing things in laboratories late at night.
Don't look at them. You'll make them mad.

The palace guards they're working hard. They have your best interests at
heart.
They're making songs of great endurance, strength and beauty,
Somewhat fruity. All top hits.

I love you and cuz I do don't ever leave me. I'll slash your stuff up if
you do.
I love you and cuz I do I'm only joking it's just my sense of humor ya'll.

The palace guards love you and me. They don't discriminate. They're free
They're open-minded, intellectual athletes who won't compete in weird mind
games.
The palace guards are real rock stars. Don't give them things not up to par
They play guitar and regulate the atmosphere with telescopes and red
machines

I love you and cuz I do I'll never let you go to London without me along.
I love you and cuz I do I hid your passport. I put you on a no fly list...

We're palace guards and we work very hard
We got all of your best all your best interests at heart.
We go up. We go down. We go where the job takes us, keep you safe and
sound.
I work my finger to the bone to bring the bacon, bring the bacon home
I work my fingers to the bone to keep the little piggies safe in their
little straw home

I rip my heart out every day for you. X4

And the palace guards
Well we work very hard
We don't ask you for much
A kind word
A kind touch
We're the palace guards