I woke you up at four this morning to whimper and to whine
To hear myself through spit and crackle of a poor long-distance line
Twelve clever ways to say I love you with words that always fail
Hang up and light a cigarette, sit waiting for the mail
A flier from department stores, another get-rich plan
A bill or two, some shampoo and a note from Ed McMahon
Although you'll always be the one in which I will confide
Sometimes you're the razor on my private waterslide

By the way, I got your letter yesterday
It said there's no need to be sad
It said that some things would never, ever change
But that some already had
And I heard it from the corner of my ear
How that voice makes things right
And I'm sure there's something more than memory
Across the Maryland Bridge tonight

How ominous these undercurrents, they crowd me now it seems
And every time I meet you in the darkness of my dreams
It's likely that I'll turn around and parody myself
Imagine we're in different places, pretend we're someone else
Well I could be J Edgar Hoover, you be JFK
As power hungry egocentrics we'll paper fight the nights away
Sometimes you're my nemesis when I am paranoid
Sometimes I have doubts and worries too strong to avoid

By the way, I got your letter yesterday
It said there's no need to be sad
It said that some things would never, ever change
But that some already had
And I heard it from the corner of my ear
How that voice makes things right
And I'm sure there's something more than memory
Across the Maryland Bridge tonight

Oh, Maryland Bridge tonight
Maryland Bridge tonight