[ VERSE 1 ]

The President woke and he called the Pope
The Pope climbed to heaven on a golden rope
PS the Lord raised Michaelangelo from the dead
So he can make a fresh painting of my head
Then I hung out with a king and a queen
And the queen put me down with her polo team
The way I scored points all around the clock
I had her daughter, the princess ridin my jock
I knocked the freak off like a crazy retard
Then I took a little trip into a deck of cards
The diamond jack joker and the ace of spades
Was amazed at greater Cut Creator on the fade
Then I played cards with the queen of clubs
The queen of hearts with me cold fell in love
As for the queen of diamonds, she don't like men
Because you know that a diamond is a girl's best friend
The double-trouble spade was named the deuce
And the joker acted stupid, so we gave him the news
There was 52 cards, and I met everyone
That story is over, but my rhyme ain't done

[ VERSE 2 ]

Then I took a trip to the center of the earth
I was kinda scared, so E-Love went first
I met these funny little people, they called em skeezers
So I held on to my wallet like Ebeneezer
Tight leather pants that'll make you grunt
Two nice soft things right up front
The center of the earth ain't got no crime
Just people bodyrockin to the LL rhyme
If you're kinda confused to what a skeezer is
It's just a girl who's on my jock cause I'm in showbiz
There was a whole lotta skeezers, I dogged everyone
That story is over, but my rhyme ain't done

[ VERSE 3 ]

Woke up late one afternoon
Realized I was in the world of cartoons
He-Man told me he'd beat me up
Because he thought that I looked like Donald Duck
Then I hung out with