Well he was born in a crate in an old junkyard
He was so damn ugly his folks took it hard
They left him nine times on the railroad track
But that ugly little thing just kept coming back
Big Fink Big Fink Big Fink
Big Surfink

Now Fink was growing at a frightening pace
It was 20 feet from his toes to his face
The hairy ground shook when he took a hop
And when he exhaled he whipped up a chop
Big Fink Big Fink Big Fink
Big Surfink

Now life was rough for old Surfink
He was so darn lonely it drove him to drink
He went to the ocean and started to drink
But he spit out the surfers who were turning pink
Big Fink Big Fink Big Fink
Big Surfink

Now when Fink started drinking he got real mean
Then he started getting hungry so he split the scene
He was making fink burgers at a meatpacking yard
But that's when the called out the national guard
On Fink Big Fink Big Fink
Big Surfink

Now they dug his grave as wide as a valley
When old Fink got snuffed in that old back alley
And at the bottom of this pit Big Fink is stacked
In a modified giant sized Ratfink trap
Big Fink Big Fink Big Fink
Big Surfink