Jayhawks play tonight at eight-thirty:
We're all dressed up in the crimson an' blue
Momma's pissed by the house bein' dirty;
Daddy's got his eyes glued to the tube

Seems like the rest of the world keeps turnin',
Evolvin' and a-solvin' mysteries unknown
From where I'm sittin', there's one thing certain:
Nothin' ever changes back home
No, no

Grandma's tunin' in to "Sex And The City,"
Thinkin' 'bout the single life she never had
Puke's on the carpet: damn that kitty
She's be matted on the wall if it was up to Dad

Seems like the rest of the world keeps turnin',
Evolvin' and a-solvin' mysteries unknown
From where I'm sittin', there's one thing certain:
Nothin' ever changes back home
Yeah

Well, somebody go an' tell Bumpy that the world didn't end,
An' Carrie didn't win
'Cause dinner with the family wouldn't be no fun,
If he don't come
Yeah, yeah

:' Instrumental Break:
(C'mon, Bumpy)
(I'll fix you up a nice Scotch on the rocks)
(Please)

Seems like the rest of the world keeps turnin',
Evolvin' and a-solvin' mysteries unknown
From where I'm sittin', there's one thing certain:
Nothin' ever changes back home

Yeah, when life starts feelin' like it just ain't workin',
It's good to know that Momma leaves the porch light on
Well, thank the Good Lord that one thing is certain
Nothin' ever changes back home, no

Nothin' ever changes back home, whoa;
Yeah, just stays the same

( Cock-doodle doo)