Now everything you're telling me rips me up
I swear I wish I'd make myself shut you up
I've got a list here of things we talked about
The ugliness you see's just me inside out
And what I just don't know
Is what I think about it
I don't know at all
Don't you see that people
Will like you for who you are
'Cause like is like a sitcom, a senior prom
And I'm OK and you're OK
Grade A - 10-4 - roger - over and out
Listen up - check it out
There's something ugly inside of you
There's a big empty hole inside of you
There's something creepy crawling on your brain
There's something in you
It's red white and blue inside of you
As long as you don't have
Lots of zits or small tits
Or crooked teeth
Then you won't be a freak, a wildebeaste
And people won't tape signs onto your back
Or beat the crap out of you
Or ignore your sorry ass
See, there's something vapid inside of you
There's a sweet little robot inside of you
So take off that silly moustache
Don't be a baby
There's a Pete Brady inside of you
ONE: You act your age
TWO: You don't try to be something you're not
THREE: You find out in advance
What restaurant your mom and dad are going to
And go someplace else