I came down to the breakfast table
felt like I could die
Tried so hard but wasn't able
to look you in the eye

For i'm feeling so much shame
yes i have brought disgrace
i can tell i've soiled my good name
by the look upon your face

Well it seems last night you caught me spankin it
No use denyin it I was really crankin it
Well Dry your eyes don't be so sad
If you could just forgive me and talk to me, dad
talk to me dad

I didn't hear ya enter, no I didn't hear the door
with my hand upon my member and my pants upon the floor
Now burnt into your brain is an image you dispise
like blood and guts and starvin kids and Stevie Wonder's eyes

Well it seems last night you caught me spankin it
No use denyin it I was really crankin it
Well Dry your eyes don't be so sad
but I wouldn't use those tissues
They've already been had
Talk to me dad

The look upon your face made my swollen gland diminish
So I said, "Could ya close the door? I really wanna finish"
Now daddy I'm ashamed and I'd completely understand
If you never wanna hug again or even shake my hand

Well it seems last night you caught me spankin it
No use denyin it I was really crankin it
Well Dry your eyes don't be so sad
Just because it was your bed
It's not that bad

When I was only seventeen, you told me it was dirty, so
it must be really creepy when your kid is pushin thirty
But you cannot tell me dad that you have never had a whack
At the thing that hangs below your belt and bumps into your sack

Well it seems last night you caught me spankin it
No use denyin it I was really crankin it
Well Dry your eyes don't be so sad
But I wouldn't use those tissues they've already been-
just because it was your bed
it's not that-
now daddy daddy please forgive me and talk to me dad
talk to me dad