She, got my number and she - chasing me so far
Me, out of slumber, I can do with no faut-pas
Mixed-up and bleeding, I's high on beleiving
It's all surreal
Slip on a T-shirt, me - gotta look so cool
Me Biba braces are making me so cruel
She, dinosaur and me, her He-whore
Sleep Muriel

Oh! See her move so right in her big baggy strides
And her golden top made of satin
See her wriggle her hips, take the almighty piss
This is Muriel the Actor who's rapping, ping - ping

She, dresscd to kill and Me, looking so jolly
I know she will 'cos she's a lady of folly
She's seventeen, oh! You know what I mean
She's a circus girl
Across the ring on a gay light fantastic
For anything, oh! She'll bust her elastic
She, so inviting, me - given up fighting
I'm all in a whirl

Oh! See her move so right in her big baggy strides
And her golden top made of satin
See her wriggle her hips, take the almighty piss
This is Muriel the Actor who's rapping, ping - ping

A superman in a comical moment
Jump through the fan, you're the inhuman showman
Oh! hear the roar of the crowd call for more
So gulliblebr Me, took ma band on the road for a lift?·up
She took my hand and she said "never give up"
Oh schizophrenia, I know you, I been yer
So subtlela la la

Oh! See her move so right in her big baggy strides
And her golden top made of satin
See her wriggle her hips, take the almighty piss
This is Muriel the Actor who's rapping, ping - ping