[Narration]

You know, religious people have such beautiful music and art;
And athiests really have nothing

Until now!

A little tune called "Athiests Don't Have No Songs"

[Lyrics]

(Christians have)
Christians have their hymns and pages
(Hymns and pages)
Hava Nagila's for the Jews
(For the Jews)
Baptists have the rock of ages
(Rock of ages)
Atheists just sing the blues

(Romantics play)
Romantics play Claire de Lune
(Claire de Lune)
Born agains sing He is risen
But no one ever wrote a tune
(Wrote a tune)
For godless existentialism
(For godless existentialism)

For Atheists,
There's no good news
They'll never sing,
A song of faith

In their songs,
They have a rule
The "he" is always lowercase
The "he" is always lowercase

(Some folks sing)
Some folks sing a Bach cantata
(Bach cantata)
Lutherans get Christmas trees
Atheist songs add up to nada
(Up to nada)
But they do have Sundays free
(Have Sundays free)

(Pentecostals sing)
Pentecostals sing, sing to heaven,
(Sing to heaven)
Gothics had the books of scrolls,
(Numerologists count)
Numerologists count, count to seven,
(Count to seven)
Atheists have rock and roll

For Atheists,
There's no good news
They'll never sing,
A song of faith

In their songs,
They have a rule
The "he" is always lowercase
The "he" is always lowercase

Atheists
Atheists
Atheists
Don't Have No SONGS!

(Christians have)
Christians have their hymns and pages
(Hymns and pages)
Hava Nagila's for the Jews
(For the Jews)
Baptists have the rock of ages
(Rock of ages)
Atheists just sing the blues

Catholics,
Dress up for Mass
And listen to,
Gregorian chants

Atheists,
Just take a pass
Watch football in their underpants
Watch football in their underpants

Atheists
Atheists
Atheists
Don't Have No SONGS!
(Don't Have No Songs)