{*a parody of Jay-Z's song "Hard Knock Life"*

[Chorus]

It's a Star Trek life for us
It's a Star Trek life for us!
Steadda work-outs, feed my gut
Steadda drivin, beam me up!
It's a Star Trek life

[Verse One: Tom Rockwell - Sudden Death]

Standin on the line a-waitin', the new movie
And I've been here for a couple-of-days
I'm drivin a car that looks like a Klingon Bird of Prey
I know the exchange rate to convert dollars to latinum, you know my type
The perfect complement for when we dine, is Blood Wine
People think I'm out of my Vulcan mind, oh well
Where all my homes with the rubber ears, and fake hair
It may seem highly illogical, I don't care
I'd love to build a replica of Quark's, we don't dare
Get upset by all the snide remarks, and funny stares
I put on a Starfleet uniform and strutted, uh-huh
I put on some make-up so my face looked rutted, uh-huh
I grab a B'at L'eth and act like a hot-head
I met Marina Sirtis and greeted her like Butthead ("Hey baby!")
You know I'd love to take her out some day
But the Rules of Acquisition say she'd have to pay

[Chorus]

It's a Star Trek life for us
It's a Star Trek life for us
Steada pizza, we eat Gach
Steada Fido, he's Tuvac
It's a Star Trek life

[Verse Two: Tom Rockwell - Sudden Death]

My beer belly hangs out, of the t-shirt
That I've had since 1983, all faded and stained
We live at conventions, spendin my entire pension
I took a pill that made my blood turn green, I prefer that
I go to bed wishin, that I wake up on a five year mission
I had a vision of Gawron, said I have no honor
And I'll never get on a girl or two
But I'll lose my virginity if it's the last thing I do
I want all those cool toys, from the Klingon knives
To the phasers, transporters, holodecks, and warp drives
And it'd be great to let Seven of Nine assimilate me
Wait, but a Tribble wouldn't date me
Got a phaser for a remote control
Deflector dish for my cereal bowl
Lost my keys in a wormhole
My licence plate reads N-C-C-1-7-0-1-D
I only wish it could go Warp 3

[Chorus]
It's a Star Trek life for us
It's a Star Trek life for us
Steadda papers, read e-zines
Steadda mother-in-law, The Borg Qween
It's a Star Trek life for us
It's a Star Trek life for us
Steadda datin, we roll play
Steadda "good luck", say Q'apla!
It's a Star Trek life