Bloodsport for all”, said Corporal Flash
And shoved me in a room full of CS gas
Stuck me in a wet-suit to dry off in the sun
And fed me pet food, Kit-e-kat and Chum

Stand up and beg”, said Sergeant Kirby
Lay down, play dead for Di and Fergie
Roll up, roll up goes the reveille
Abuse the bugle boy of company B”

Suffer in silence”, said Brigadier General Holmes
Or change your name to Smith or Jones
Learn to live with all the death threat notes
The big bananas and the racist jokes”

Stand up and beg”, said Sergeant Kirby
lay down, play dead for Di and Fergie
Roll up, roll up goes the reveille
Abuse the bugle boy of company B”

And the coldest stream guards
Of them all
Sang 'God Save The Queen'
And 'Bloodsport For All'

While were on the subject
I've been called a spade
Single filed in public
With my privates on parade

I hope my feet go flat
Before I hang myself
Because I can't take this crap
I'm going AWOL

And the coldest stream guards
Of them all
Sang 'God Save The Queen'
And 'Bloodsport For All'