All the children met
In day cares and nightclubs
Discussed finger paints and body rubs
They embraced it all

It hasn't happened yet
But pretty soon they will fall flat
Alcohol will take the edge off that
Ease the pain if not the fall

You gotta take off your hat, force a bow
Wipe that sweat right off your brow
Look her in the eye and try for mercy

And so the story grows
I got kind of wired and
I drove the snakes from Ireland
And then I broke for lunch

If you want a small nose
Give honesty a try
But if you gotta lie
You may as well lie a bunch

Hello, how are you? I like you plenty well
If you get bored here, there's always the hotel
We can order in, and turn off the ringer
And you can have your pick, the song or the singer