The bell on my door rang this morning
From the kitchen I called who's that there
Through the letter box came a grappling hook
Which grappled me right out of my chair
Stretched out on the floor I lay helpless
Of my limbs I had lost all command
When into my ear in stilling fear
Said a voice "I am Monsieur R Monde"

Monsieur R Monde you are not
That's an incredible thing to say
Why I personally attended his funeral
Which was twelve months to this very day
A rat flew down from the ceiling
Alighted upon my right ear
Said if Monsieur R Monde is safe under the sod
Then why are you shaking with fear

My name is not Scrooge I said faintly
And from ghosts I have nothing to fear
But if you are R Monde returned from the dead
Then what are you wanting here
From nowhere I heard a mad cackle
From nowhere a voice to me cried
"Stop calling me Monsieur R Monde, you fool
My name's Jeckyll and you're Mr Hyde