Well grab your shoes, and grab your balls
And lets head to those heavenly halls
Sit on down and grab a beer
Because bowling time is pretty near
Tortured men forget their pain
When they head to the bowling lane

Let's go bowling
Let's go bowling, got a coupon
Let's go bowling, for a free game
Let's go bowling
Let's go bowling, let's go bowling
Let's do it now

Because Wrestlemania's fine by me
Monster trucks are a sight to see
A cultured like that's nice and all
But there ain't nothing better than a bowling ball
You know the sport that God would choose
Is the one with the three-tone leather-sole shoes

Let's go bowling
Let's go bowling, got a coupon
Let's go bowling, from a juice can
Let's go bowling
Let's go bowling, let's go bowling
Let's do it now

Yes bowling! The sport of kings! The sport of queens!
The sport of dukes Earls Moes Johns anything that
Looks good when it's embroidered on a polyester shirt
And you know, bowling takes on this almost religious
Significance because it's so much like a religion
I mean the ball is round, like the earth, and it's got
The Holy Trinity: the Father, the Son, and the
Thumbhole And as you roll the ball down the alley of
Life, striking out the pagan religions of the past, sparing them the
Anguish of their lives in the gutter, framing their existence in an
Eternal metaphysicalness something like the 7-10 split!

We'll be bowling in Moosejaw (yeah, yeah)
We'll be bowling in Hickton (yeah, yeah)
We'll be bowling in Gander (yeah, yeah)
And in the Kingston Township (yeah, yeah)
We'll be bowling Vancouver, bowling Saskatoon
Someday they'll even be bowling on the moon
I said yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah

Let's go bowling
Let's go bowling, got a coupon
Let's go bowling, for free shoes
Let's go bowling
Let's go bowling, let's go bowling
Let's do it now