Joan was home alone relaxing in the bath
When through the cellar window climbed a deadly psychopath
Then she heard what sounded like a growl
So she went down to the cellar wearing nothing but a towel

Beautiful and brave but no brains in her head
Doesn't have a clue that any second she'll be dead

She's a horror flick chick
Dangerously thick
Misses every single trick
'Cause she's a horror flick chick

On the beach a boy gave Nell a note
It said to hurry up and join her friends back at the boat
But when she came there was nobody there
Just a trail of blood and guts that she followed down the stair

Beautiful and brave but no brains in her head
Doesn't have a clue that any second she'll be dead

She's a horror flick chick
Dangerously thick
Misses every single trick
'Cause she's a horror flick chick

Try to guess how the story would unfold,
When the killer trips and knocks himself out cold
Does she turn away and run?
Does she kill him with his gun?
Does she dial 911?
Or does she calmly sit and turn her back so he can wake up and attack?

'Cause she's a horror flick chick
Dangerously thick
Misses every single trick
'Cause she's a horror flick chick

One night Jill was in her house alone
The dog was barking like somebody stole his favorite bone
Then the little pooch gave out a yelp
So in her nightie she went out to see if she could help

Beautiful and brave but no brains in her head
Doesn't have a clue that any second she'll be dead

She's a horror flick chick
Dangerously thick
Misses every single trick
'Cause she's a horror flick chick