She flips back the page of the guy with the six pack
And the girl with the buns of steel
She sees "$2999" in big bold print and figures,
"Ooh what a great steal"
And says, "Farewell to melba toast,
Rice cakes and cottage cheese
As soon as I get me these here magic pills my mind will be set at ease
My mind will be set at ease"

Who has the time, who has the patience to raise a red flag?
We see the book beyond the cover, but can we make the distinction?
That tiny, insubstantial print has much more substance than you think
Everything's subject to terms and conditions

He looks over his shoulder at the girl who walked past him,
A body from heaven
He sees scarlet red lips and curvaceous hips and says,
"Hi, my name's Kevin"
When she opens up her mouth, she leaves no trace of doubt
She says, "You may have pinned me as the hetero type
But that's not what I'm about
No that's not what I'm about"

Chorus

Everything's subject to terms and conditions
Beware of those cleverly hidden restrictions