When I woke up this morning I was feelin' fine
But this cat starts banging man what a swine
So I called reception but to no avail
That's why I'm telling you this sorry tale
I went bang - I said shut up,
I went bang - I said rap up
Well I'm aware that the guy must do his work
But the piledriver man drove me berserk

He said captain, I said wot,
He said captain, I said wot,
He said captain, I said wot,
He said captain, I said wot d'ya want

Once a lifetime, twice a day
If you don't work you get no pay
I been to the east, I been to the west,
But the girls I like best are the ones undressed
Well, hello Adam, where you been?
I said a'stand aside 'cause I'm feelin' mean,
I've had a gutful of you and I'm feelin' bad
'Cause you're an ugly old pirate and ain't I glad

He said captain, I said wot,
He said captain, I said wot,