The time has long come and gone
PF Flyers, Converse high-cuts or maybe a new pair of Docs
And I know what I'll do
I'll appeal to their sense of brotherhood
And when nobody's looking
I'll grab a pair and I'll start hoofin'

Well in these cold, grey days
It's no longer news
Henry needs a new pair of shoes

These feet aren't made of rock
And if they had genitalia they'd have frozen their nuts off
And if the shoe should fit
Believe you me I'd wear 'em
And if I steal your wallet
All ten piggies are going to market

Henry needs a new pair of shoes
To get him past these barefoot blues
And he'd walk a mile in his own shoes
If he only had 'em
Come on Henry up and at 'em

Put one foot in front of the other
Henry needs new footwear he doesn't need a mother
And the important question posed
Is, how not to lose his toes
'Cause it's fifteen below
And Henry's got nowhere to go man