He said "Mary is the rarest gem and she's the wildest flower
I'll make my Mary merrier with every passing hour
So I made a certain sacrifice, as soon as we were through
I said "Your Mary loves you, Lad" and he said "Mary Who?"

You don't know if an apple's rotten til you take a bite
You don't know if there's breakfast come until you spend the night
and I'm sure I'll kiss my share of frogs before my time is done
The world is full of Bastards and I've dated every one!

And the lad was oh-so-generous, much more than you would think
He didn't have a lisence but he still drove me to drink
and I had no insecurities, so he gave me some of his
But I didn't need his sorrow, man, I'm Irish as it is!

You don't know if an apple's rotten til you take a bite
You don't know if there's breakfast come until you spend the night
and I'm sure I'll kiss my share of frogs before my time is done
The world is full of Bastards and I've dated every one!

(Guitar solo)

You don't know if the Beer is bitter til you buy a glass
You don't know if your piece of mind is just a piece of ass
and I'm sure I'll kiss my share of frogs before my time is done
The world is full of Bastards and I've dated every one

The world is full of Bastards and I've dated EVERY ONE!