{We'd like to sing a children's song for you now, that's unique
It's the only children's song that we've ever encountered
That contains all three of the basic elements
Of every single children's song}

{The first element is simplicity
So that the child can understand this song
The second element is pathos
To prepare the child for later traumatic experiences
And the third element is repetition
To give the child a false sense of security}

I had a dog and his name was Blue
I had a dog and his name was Blue
I had a dog and his name was Blue
I betcha five dollars, he's a good dog too

Singin', "Here ol' Blue, hey you're a good dog, you"

Ol' Blue come when I blow my horn
Ol' Blue come when I blow my horn
A Blue come a-runnin' through the yella' corn
A Blue come a-runnin' when I blow my horn

Singin', "Here ol' Blue, hey you're a good dog, you"

{What if this song were to be changed?
Modified by an unscrupulous modifier of folk songs
Whose business it is to make this type of song palatable
For the teenage, delinquent, 'Mother-My-Dog' instinct}

{And then it would be a rock 'n roll song
Oh nasty, unscrupulous modifier
Now it would sound something like this}

Hup, two, three, four, five, six, hey
Well, I got a dog and his name is Blue
I betcha five dollars he's a good dog too
[Incomprehensible]

Well, Blue, why did you leave me, sweetheart?
Blue, you promised to write and I, I sit, I sit
I sit alone at night now, sifting sand through my fingers
Looking for some trace of you

Come back Blue, I, I, I, I want you
I, I, I need you and I'm going to have you, here Blue