Do people have a tendency to dump on you
Does your group have more cavities than theirs
Do all the hippies seem to get the jump on you
Do you sleep alone when other sleep in pairs
Well there's no need to complain
We'll eliminate your pain
We can neutralize your brain
You'll feel just fine
Now
Buy a big bright green pleasure machine

Do figures of authority just shoot you down
Is life within the business world a drag
Did your boss just mention that you'd better shop around
To find yourself a more productive bag
Are you worried and distressed
Can't seem to get no rest
Put our product to the test
You'll feel just fine
Now
Buy a big bright green pleasure machine

You better hurry up and order one
Our limited supply is very nearly gone

Do you nervously await the blows of cruel fate
Do your checks bounce higher than a rubber ball
Are you worried 'cause your girlfriend's just a little late
Are you looking for a way to chuck it all
We can end your daily strife
At a reasonable price
You've seen it advertised in Life
You'll feel just fine
Now
Buy a big bright green pleasure machine