You're a slob, it's such a bore,
Your underwear strewn on the floor.

And you're a packrat, most extreme,
Our house is full of magazines.

The toilet's broke, and yet I bet,
His majesty ain't fixed it yet.

You're one to talk, sleepyhead,
And get your fat ass out of bed.

Oh but in the eyes of god,
We said our vows before the pews.
"Not until death may we part"

So until then I'm stuck with you.

You swore that you'd be true to me,
But gave be infidelity.

Why should I give a tinker's cuss?
She was your sister, what's the fuss?

Well then, let's propose a truce.
What's good for gander is good for goose.

Hey now that's different, you took to bed,
My favorite dog and all my friends!

Oh but in the eyes of god,
We said our vows before the pews.
"not until death may we part"
So until then I'm stuck with you.

Oh but in the eyes of god,
We said our vows before the pews.
"not until death may we part"

This is my curse, I said "I do."
Better or worse I'm stuck with you.

You poked my eye, I wear a patch.
I should've given you one to match.

Did you forget, you forgot me back?
You chopped my thumb off with an axe.

You drowned my kittens one by one.
You looked like you were having fun.

You stabbed my mother, in the chest
With a Korean bayonet!

Oh but in the eyes of god,
We said our vows before the pews.
"Not until death may we part"
So until then I'm stuck with you.
Oh but in the eyes of god,
We said our vows before the pews.
"Not until death may we part"

This is my curse, I said "I do."
Lest you die first I'm stuck with you.

And now I lie here in the grave.
I pray to god my soul to save.
And in the darkness of the tomb,
I'm glad I'm lying next to you.

And as I lay here 6 feet down
My body buried under ground.
In this dank, and dreary cold,
I'm just glad I'm not alone.

Oh but in the eyes of god,
We said our vows before the pews.
"Not until death may we part"
So until then I'm stuck with you.
Oh but in the eyes of god,
We said our vows before the pews.
"Not until death may we part"

I'm not sad I said, "I do."
I'm just glad I was stuck with you.