Reuben, Reuben, I've been thinking
Said his wifey dear
Now that all is peaceful and calm
Soon our boys will be back on the farm

Mister Reuben started winking
And slowly rubbed his chin
He pulled his chair up close to Mother
Asked her with a grin

How ya gonna keep 'em down? Oh no
How ya gonna keep 'em down? Oh no, oh no
How ya gonna keep 'em away from Broadway
Jazzin' around and painting the town?
How ya gonna keep 'em away from harm?
That's the mystery

They'll never want to see a rake or a plow
And who the deuce can parlez vous a cow?
And how ya gonna keep 'em down on the farm
After they've seen Paris?

Reuben, Reuben, you're mistaken
Said his wifey dear
Once a farmer, always a jay
And farmers always stick to the hay

Mother Reuben, I'm not fakin'
Though you may think it strange
But wine and women play the mischief
With a boy who's loose with change

Oh, how ya gonna keep 'em down? Oh no, oh no
Oh, how ya gonna keep 'em down?
How ya gonna keep 'em away from Broadway
Jazzin' around and painting the town?
How ya gonna keep 'em away from harm?
That's the mystery

Imagine Reuben, when he meets his pa
He'll pinch his cheek and holler, ooh la la
How you gonna keep 'em down on the farm
After they've seen Paris, Paris?