Adam, you like having a drink or two
Sometimes twenty if you're feelin' blue
Sometimes one in the morning, so you can get out of bed
Ya like Jim, ya like Jack, ya like Makers Mark
Drinking in the daytime, drinking in the dark
Drinking with a crowd, drinking alone
Drinking in the shower, or drinking on the phone

I'm trying to quit, but I just quit trying
Tried to hide it but I'm bad at lying
So I'm still drinking if you're still buying
I'm trying to quit, but I just quit trying

Roy you like women but you're a married man
Sneaking around every chance you can
The feminine nation's gonna be the ruination of you
You like brunettes, redheads and bottled blonds
Pulling them jeans off, and mowing them lawns
You're staring down the barrel, it's the same ole' song
'Cause your wife and your girlfriend can't seem to get along

I'm trying to quit, but I just quit trying
Having several women is death-defying
If there's eggs to break, I can't help but fry em'
I'm trying to quit but I just quit trying

Roy you like smoking my cheap homegrown
That Mexican Lettuce sure gets you stoned
You cotton-mouth so dry
You'll drink the water from my bong
You like Cencimilla Red and Acapulco Gold
Maui Waui and resin from the bowl
But we ain't wrote a song in so long I don't know
And now Johnny Law's waiting for us after the show

I'm trying to quit, but I just quit trying
So roll me a joint and I'll start flying
Made us laugh so hard that we both started crying
I'm trying to quit, but I just quit trying
I'm trying to quit, but I just quit trying
I'm trying to quit, but I just quit trying