I just got the news, I understand you're married
While your friends are congratulatin' you
I'll add my two cents and I'll convey my feelings
So here's wishing all the worst of luck to you

May the troubles that you have all be big ones
I hope every dress he buys you turns to blue
May your life with him be one big mess of heartaches
Oh, here's wishing all the worst of luck to you

I hope everything he touches start to hurtin'
'Cause I know that he'll be touchin' you a lot
If you think I wan't revenge well, you're right I really do
So, here's wishing all the worst of luck to you

--- Instrumental ---

May your life with him be one big mess of
Oh, here's wishing all the worst of luck to you

Yes, here's wishing all the worst of luck to you