I've found a new beauty secret for my Rod
It feels so good when I rub it all over Todd!
So soft and silky with the most beautiful sheen
It came in a box labeled,

Not Penis Cream!
Not Penis Cream!

Saw it on TV and I ordered on the phone
Three to five days rush delivered to my home
Then in my mailman's eye I saw a knowing glean
He handed me a box labeled,

Not Penis Cream!
Not Penis Cream!

It could be almost anything
Cds or girly magazines
A baseball glove or a year's supply of Spam
But one thing's for sure, yeah yeah

It's Not Penis Cream!
Not Penis Cream!
It's Not Penis Cream!
Not Penis Cream!