[Written for, but not used in, the show]

It's smart to be thrifty when times are so bad
Let's be patriotic, but let's not go mad
We must cheer the colors we prize
So here's what I strongly advise
We'll just have two cheers instead of three
For the land of the brave and the free
Instead of three cheers, we'll just have two
For the red and the white and the blue
So when we cheer the stars and stripes here's what we'll do
We'll cheer the red and cheer the white but not the blue
And just have two cheers instead of three
For the land of the brave and the free

[patter:]
Why give them three cheers when two will more than do?
If there must be cheers than let there just be two
And the speeches that you make to Uncle Sam
Cut 'em down to "Unaccustomed as I am"