This is our National Anthem
And it goes likes this
She got the Goldmine and I got the shaft

Well, I guess it was back in '63
When eatin' my cookin' got the better of me
So I asked this little girl
I was goin' with to be my wife

Well, she said, "She would"
So I said, "I do"
But I'd said, "I wouldn't"
If I'd just knew how sayin' I do
Was gonna screw up all of my life

First few years weren't all that bad
I'll never forget the good times we had
'Cause I'm reminded every month
When I send her the child support

Well, it wasn't very long till the lust all died
And I'll admit I wasn't too surprised
The day I came home and see my suitcase
Sittin' out on the porch

I tried to get in, she changed the lock
And I see this note on the mailbox
That said, "So long, Turkey"
My attorney will be in touch

Well, I decided then and there
To do what's right
Give her fair share
But I didn't know
It's gon' be that much

Well, she got the Goldmine
(She got the goldmine)
I got the shaft
(I got the shaft)
They split it right down the middle
But she got the bigger half

Well, it all sounds sorta funny
But it hurts too much to laugh
She got the goldmine
And I got the shaft

Now listen boy, listen
You ain't heard nothin' yet
They give her the color televison set
Then they give her the house
And the kids and both of the cars

Next they started talkin' about child support
Alimony, costs to the court
Didn't take me long to say
I found the toilet, oh Jerry boy

And I'm tellin' you, they've made a mistake
It adds up to more than I make
Everythin' I've got ever havin' they've already took
While she's livin' like a queen on alimony
I'm workin' two jobs, eatin' baloney
Sayin' Ronny, "You didn't just learn how to cook?"

Well, she got the Goldmine
(She got the goldmine)
I got the shaft
(I got the shaft)
They said they're splittin' it all down the middle
But she got the bigger half

It all sounds mighty funny
But it hurts too much to laugh
She got the Goldmine, and I got the shaft
Pick this guitar

She got the goldmine
(She got the goldmine)
I got the shaft
(I got the shaft)
They'd splittin' it down the middle
And I've stuck my half
Straight up my, straight up my nose

Yeah, she got the Goldmine
(She got the goldmine)
I got the shaft
(I got the shaft)