Brain storming,
Habit forming,
Battle warning,
Weary, winsome actor spewing
Spineless chilling lines

The critics falling over
To tell themselves he's boring
And really not an awful lot of fun

Well, who the Hell can he be
When he's never had VD
And he doesn't even sit on toilet seats

Court jesting,
Never resting,
He must be very cunning
To assume an air of dignity
And bless us all
With his oratory prowess,
His lame brain antics,
And his jumping in the air
And every night his act's the same
And so it must be all a game of chess he's playing

(But you're wrong, Steve You see, it's only solitare)