Marian:
Mama, a man with a suitcase followed me home
Mrs Paroo:
Oh--Who?
Marian:
I never saw him before
Mrs Paroo:
Did he say anythin'?
Marian:
He tried
Mrs Paroo:
Did you say anythin'?
Marian:
Of course not, Mama!
Now don't dawdle, Amaryllis
So do la ti mi,
A little slower and please
Keep the fingers curved as nice
And as high as you possibly can
Don't get faster,
Mrs Paroo:
If you don't mind my sayin' so,
It wouldn't have hurt you
To find out what the gentleman wanted
Marian:
I know what the gentleman wanted
Mrs Paroo:
What, dear?
Marian:
You'll find it in Balzac
Mrs Paroo:
Excuse me fer livin' but I never read it
Marian:
Neither has anyone else in this town
Mrs Paroo:
There you go again with the same old comment
About the low mentality of River City people,
And takin' it all to much to heart
Marian:
Now, Mama,
As long as the Madison Public Library was entrusted
To me for the purpose of improving River City's cultural level,
I can't help my concern that the Ladies of River City
Keep ignoring all my council and advice
Mrs Paroo:
But, darlin'--when a woman has a husband
And you've got none,
Why should she take advice from you?
Even if you can quote Balzac and Shakespeare
And all them other highfalutin' Greeks
Marian:
Momma, if you don't mind my sayin' so,
You have a bad habit of changin' ev'ry subject--
Mrs Paroo:
Well, I haven't changed the subject!
I was talking about that stranger--
Marian:
What stranger?
Mrs Paroo:
With the suitcase who may be your very last chance
Marian:
Mama!
Do you think that I'd allow a common masher--
Now, really Mama!
I have my standards where men are concerned,
And I have no intention--
Mrs Paroo:
I know all about your standards
And if you don't mind my sayin' so
There's not a man alive
Who could hope to measure up to that blend'a
Paul Bunyan, Saint Pat and Noah Webster
You've got concocted for yourself outta your Irish imagination,
Your Iowa stubbornness, and your liberry fulla' books!