I peek at you, my stomach turns
I hate your guts
You turn to me and whisper
You're a stupid putz

You must know that I feel this way
When I reach out, girl
And flip you off

Eat my shorts
Yes, choke on polished cotton
Eat my shorts
Everything we have is rotten
Baby, just remember
When our love affair aborts
Eat my shorts

I see you smile, I make a fist
I throw a punch
You kick me in the groin
And then I blow my lunch

Whoa, oh, baby
Have you heard that I think
You're an adulterated nerd

Eat my shorts
Yes, gag on the elastic
Eat my shorts
Your heart is made of plastic
And, baby, just remember
When our love affair aborts
Eat my shorts

Eat my shorts
Yes, choke on polished cotton
Eat my shorts
Everything we have is rotten
Remember when you're
Burning off your ugly warts
Eat my shorts

Eat my shorts
Eat my shorts