As I went out one morning to breathe the air around tome paine's
I spied the fairest damsel that ever did walk in chains
I offered her my hand, she took me by the arm
I knew that very instant she meant to do me harm

Depart from me this moment I told her with my voice
She said but I don't wish to, said I but you've got no choice
I beg you sir, she pleaded from the corner of her mouth,
I will secretly accept you and together we'll fly south

Just then tom paine himself came a-runnin' across the field
Shouting at this lovely girl and commanding her to yield
And as she was letting go her grip, up tom paine did run
I'm sorry sir, he said to me, I'm sorry for what she's done