again and again i struggle with my shortcomings my strength my soul weary of this i have to face the pain of my fault within these tests these trials the marks i miss what do i gain what is the benefit of self-indulgence the darkness reveals itself i must commit to absolving it my fault my weakness torments myself why should i sacrifice my dignity the purpose of these trials holds peace for those that seek it the secrets of wisdom truth and life to this one must look what does it profit a man to release his will to that which tries this soul a test a trial a blessing in disguise offered to all that ask in time it shall be revealed beyond that which is seen beyond a man??? understanding