(Warren Zevon/Waddy Wachtel/LeRoy P Marineli)

Don't bring the milk in
Leave it on the porch
Don't read the papers
Don't mow the lawn no more
Drive to the market
At the break of dawn
Watch 'em unload the produce
Then ride right back home

CHORUS
It's the white man's burden
And it weighs a ton
I'm a family man
Model citizen

Tormen the mailman
Terrorize the maid
Try to teach 'em some manners
Whip 'em into shape
Down in the basement
I've got a Craftsman lathe
Show it to the children
When they misbehave

CHORUS

I'm a law-abiding man
I'm a good samaritan
I pay my taxes when I can
Model citizen

In the cool of the evening
When the sun goes down
My wife's playing canasta
With everyone in town

When I feel the pressure
And I need a break
Load up the Winnebago
Drive it in the lake

CHORUS