(talking) There are times when you get suckered in, to drug's alcohol, and sex with woman, mmm k, But it's when you do these thing's too much, that you've becom...

Where were you when they built the Ladder to Heaven? Did it make you feel like crying? Or did you think it was kinda gay? Well I for one believe in the Ladder t...

I said I love the way your ass shakes, It's crazy! I love to toss a salad gaily; it's tasty! I love it when we're maxine; we're laxine You ask me if I'm super; ...

times have changed our kids Our Kids are getting worse! They wont obey their parents They just want to fart and curse! should we blame the government or blame s...

C'mon c'mon babe can you feel me I've got something I wanna say,check it out! For all this time I've been loving you girl Oh! Yes I have And ever since the day...

2 tablespoons of cinnamon, and 2 or 3 egg whites, a half a stick of butter, melted Stick it all in a bowl baby, stir it with a wooden spoon, mix in a cup of flo...

2 tablespoons of cinnammon, And 2 or 3 egg whites a half a stick of butter melt it Stick it all in a bowl,baby stir it with a wooden spoon mix in a cup of f...

String up the lights and light up the tree We're gonna make some revalry Spirits are high, so I can tell It's Christmas Time in Hell! Demons are nicer as you p...

Everything that lives on earth poos in some way And thats how the cycle happens each and everyday Just look at the green green grass and the birds up in the sky...

Damien: Everybody hates me! Mr Mackey: why do you suppose that is? Damien: Because I'm the son of the devil! Mr Mackey: Uh huh that's a good start, why else?...

[Stanley] Mr Garrison, Can I ask you a question [Mr Garrison] Of course Stanely, what is it? [Stanely] What is a homosexual? [Mr Garrison] Oh, well Stanl...

Les: Going down to south park gonna have myself a time Stan/Kyle: Friendly faces everywhere, humble folks without temtations Les: Going down to south park gonna...

[Eric Cartman] -Hey, guys This is a song I just wrote It's called 'I hate you guys' (Harmonica intro) 'I hate you guys You guys are assholes Especially Kenny...

Shelley: I saw three ships come sailing in, on Christmas Day, on Christmas Day I saw three ships come sailing in, on Christmas Day in the morning And what was i...

it's hard to be a jew on christmas my friends won't let me join in any games and i can't sing christmas songs or decorate a christmas tree or leave water out fo...

God has smiled upon you this day The fate of a nation in your hands And blessed be the children who fight with all our bravery 'til only the righteous stand Yo...

Mole: Here I come you fuckin rat (sings) Now the light she fades And darkness settles in But I will find strength Kyle: No Mole hang on Mole: I will find pride ...

a great adventure is waiting for you ahead hurry onward Lemmiwinks or you will soon be dead teh journey before you may be long and filled with woahs but you mus...

It's hard to be a jew on christmas, my friends won't let me join in any games, and I can't sing christmas songs or decorate a christmas tree, or leave water out...

I'm going down to South Park gonna have myself a time Stan & Kyle: Friendly faces everywhere humble folks without temptation Les: Going down to South Park gonna...

Intro: Kyle: Everybody hates me! Mr Mackey: Why do you suppose that is? Kyle: Because I'm the son of the devil? Mr Mackie: Uh huh! That's a good start Why else?...

(Mr Garrison) I heard there is no Christmas, In the silly Middle East No trees, no snow, no Santa Claus They have different religious beliefs They believe in ...

(Stan,singing)There's a bunch of birds in the sky And some deers just went running by Oh the snows pure and white On the earth rich and brown Just another sund...

We've all heard of Rudolph and his shiny nose And we all know Frosty whose made out of snow But all of those stories seem kind of gay Cuz we all know who bright...

Mr Garrison- ok children gather round, since Eric Cartman can't seem to remember the words to Oh Holy Night we are gonna try a little shock theripy, I'm gonna g...

Chef: Hello there, children! Children: Hey, Chef Stan: Chef, what's a prostitute? Chef:Dag-nabbit children! How come every time you come in here you gotta be as...

*(Music)* There's a bunch of birds in the sky and some deers just went running by Oh the snow's pure and white On the earth rich and brown Just another sunday ...

Some people say that I'm a bad guy They may be right, they may be right! But its not as if I dont try I just fuck up! Try as I might But I can change, I can cha...

Theres a bunch of birds in the sky And some deers just went running by Oh the snows pure and white On the earth rich and brown Just another sunday morning in my...

[Mr Garrison] Okay children Who wrote the declaration of independence? C'mon children, don't be shy just give it your best shot Yes Clyde? [Clyde] Timmy? [...

[Mr Garrison] Okay children, lets start off with a few new maths problems What's 5x2? C'mon children, don't be shy just give it your best shot Yes Clyde? [Cly...

Mall Employee: What kinda song do you want? J Lo: Something hot and spicy! *Country/Rock Music* J Lo: Spicier! *Beach Music* J Lo: Spicier! *Mexican Music* J Lo...

Kyle: Ok, Ike, you're my little brother, so I have to show you how to celebrate Haunakah This is called a dreidle: you spin it and see where it lands, and you s...

Howdy-ho The Virgin Mary was sleeping when Angel Gabriel appeared He said you are to be the Virgin Mother and Mary thought that was weird (Mary said, "I'm not ...

Mr Mackey: There are times when you get suckered in By drugs and alchohol and sex with women-mmkay But its when you do these things too much That you've become ...

Don't forget to bring a towel What? When you get out of the water you need to dry off right away to Avoid cetchen a cold That's why Towily says "Don't forget to...

Shut your fuckin face uncle fucka, you're a cock-sucking,ass-licking uncle fucka, You're an uncle fucka, yes its true, nobody fucks uncles quite like you Shut y...

Shut your fucking face uncle fu-uh Your a boner biting bastard uncle fu-cka-a-a I thought I told you that we won't stop, thought I told you that we won't stop! ...

Shut your fuckin' face uncle fucka You're a cock-sucking, ass-licking uncle fucka You're an uncle fucka, yes its true, nobody fucks uncles quite like you Shut y...

Shut your fuckin face uncle fucka, you're a cock-sucking,ass-licking uncle fucka, You're an uncle fucka, yes its true, nobody fucks uncles quite like you Shut y...

- Laughter - Ah, you shit face cock master (Wow, shit face cock master) Listen, you donkey raping shit eater (Donkey raping shit eater) (Baby's voice) Donkey ra...

What would Brian Boitano if he was here right now He'd make a plan and he'd follow through, that's what Brian Boitano'd do When Brian Boitano was in the olympic...

BRIANSKATEBRIAN FIGHT What would Brian Boitano if he was here right now He'd make a plan and he'd follow through, that's what Brian Boitano'd do BRIAN SKATE ...