I used to have a vegan girlfriend
She's not vegan anymore
Now that we're not dating she's my:
Ex-Vegan-Ex (Ex-Vegan-Ex)

I used to have a straightedge girlfriend
She's not straightedge anymore
Now that we're not dating she's my:
Ex-Straightedge-Ex (Ex-straightedge-ex)

I always felt really bad for the non-straightedge kids
Not just because they were destroying their brains with drugs and alcohol, but because they never got to take part in any of the good sing-a-longs This is for them

I used to have a vegan girlfriend
She's not vegan anymore
Now that we're not dating she's my:
Ex-Vegan-Ex (Ex-Vegan-Ex)

I used to have a straightedge girlfriend
She's not straightedge anymore
Now that we're not dating she's my:
Ex-Straightedge-Ex (Ex-straightedge-ex)