channel five has all i need
sex and death, freaks and comedy
crooks beat up by cops
some slob pissing in the coffee pot

russian hookers, shark attacks
i shirtless bum all highed up on crack
a brazen robbery
and america's favorite family

(ch)

i thank god for fox tv
there's everything i need to see
there's no where else i'd rather be
than staring at the glowing screen

i toothless hag down on her luck
a man's head stuck in an elephant's butt
other people's misery
baseball games and mad tv

a purple haired babe with one big eye
thurgood stubbs and the family guy
a train crash and a high speed chase
a man with a detachable face