Mrs Lovett:
Th at's all very well, but what are we going
To do about him?
Todd:
Later on, when it's dark, we'll take him to
Some secret place and bury him
Mrs Lovett:
Oh yeah, of course we could do that I don't
Suppose he's got any relatives going to come
Poking around looking for him
Seems a downright shame…
Todd:
Shame?
Mrs Lovett:
Seems an awful waste…
Such a nice plump frame
Wot's-his-name
Has…
Had…
Has…
Nor it can't be traced
Business needs a lift,
Debts to be erased,
Th ink of it as thrift,
As a gift …
If you get my drift …
Seems an awful waste
I mean,
With the price of meat what it is,
When you get it,
If you get it—
Todd:
Ah!
Mrs Lovett:
Good, you got it
Take, for instance,
Mrs Mooney and her pie shop
Business never better, using only
Pussy cats and toast
Now a pussy's good for maybe six or
Seven at the most
And I'm sure they can't compare,
As far as taste—
-DUET AS FOLLOWS-
Todd:
Mrs Lovett,
What a charming notion,
Eminently practical and yet
Mrs Lovett:
Well, it does seem a waste…
Todd:
Appropriate, as always Mrs Lovett
How I did without you
All these years I'll never know!
Mrs Lovett:
Think about it
Todd:
How delectable!
Mrs Lovett:
Lots of other gentlemen'll soon be coming for a shave
Todd:
Also undetectable
Mrs Lovett:
Won't they? Think of
Todd:
How choice!
Mrs Lovett:
All them
Todd:
How rare!
Mrs Lovett:
Pies!
Todd:
For what's the sound of the world out there?
Mrs Lovett:
What, Mr Todd,
What, Mr Todd,
What is that sound?
Todd:
Th ose crunching noises pervading the air?
Mrs Lovett:
Yes, Mr Todd,
Yes, Mr Todd,
Yes, all around—
-DUET AS FOLLOWS-
Todd: MrsLovett
It's man devouring man, my dear,
And who are we to deny it in here?
Todd:
Th ese are desperate times, Mrs Lovett,
And desperate measures are called for
Mrs Lovett:
Here we are, hot out of the oven
Todd:
What is that?
Mrs Lovett:
It's priest
Have a little priest
Todd:
Is it really good?
Mrs Lovett:
Sir, it's too good,
At least
Then again, they don't commit sins of the flesh,
So it's pretty fresh
Todd:
Awful lot of fat
Mrs Lovett:
Only where it sat
Todd:
Haven't you got poet
Or something like that?
Mrs Lovett:
No, you see the trouble with poet
Is, how do you know it's
Deceased?
Try the priest
Lawyer's rather nice
Todd:
If it's for a price
Mrs Lovett:
Order something else, though, to follow,
Since no one should swallow
It twice
Todd:
Anything that's lean
Mrs Lovett:
Well, then, if you're British and loyal,
You might enjoy Royal
Marine
Anyway, it's clean
Th ough, of course, it tastes of wherever it's been
Todd:
Is that squire
On the fire?
Mrs Lovett:
Mercy no, sir,
Look closer,
You'll notice it's grocer
Todd:
Looks thicker
More like vicar
Mrs Lovett:
No, it has to be grocer—it's green
Todd:
The history of the world, my love—
Mrs Lovett:
Save a lot of graves,
Do a lot of relatives favors…
Todd:
—Is those below serving those up above
Mrs Lovett:
Everybody shaves,
So there should be plenty of flavours…
Todd:
How gratifying for once to know—
Both
—that those above will serve those down below!
Todd:
What is that?
Mrs Lovett:
It's fop
Finest in the shop
Or we have some shepherd's pie peppered
With actual shepherd
On top
And I've just begun
Here's a politician—so oily
It's served with a doily—
Have one?
Todd:
Put it on a bun
Well, you never know if it's going to run
Mrs Lovett:
Try the friar
Fried, it's drier
Todd:
No, the clergy is really
Too coarse and too mealy
Mrs Lovett:
Then actor—
It's compacter
Todd:
oh but always arrives overdone
I'll come again when you
Have Judge on the menu
Have charity toward the world, my pet—
Mrs Lovett:
Yes, yes, I know, my love—
Todd:
We'll take the customers that we can get
Mrs Lovett:
High-born and low, my love
Todd:
We'll not discriminate great from small
No, we'll serve anyone—
Meaning anyone—
Mrs Lovett:
We'll serve anyone—
Both
And to anyone
At all!