Intro: sirens panned across channels

Verse 1:

Fasten your seat belts for the 7:30 guided tour

Meet Mister Bartholomew

He will translate for you

Please tell him if you do not understand

Verse 2:

You'll get an eyeful when we climb the highest tower in town
Above the mist and fog
We'll let our minds unclog
Please use the handrail when you're coming down

Bridge 1:

Put on wooden shoes

Walk away all your blues

Watch the windmills chase the gray clouds away

Instrumental break:

Verse 3:

There'll be no cameras taken on this portion of the trip
Best leave them all behind
They confiscated mine
For taking pictures of their paradise

Bridge 2:

Now we're crossing the wall
I hear the good times call
Up to the fourth floor
Gonna ride the riverboat home

Verse 4:

Hope you have all enjoyed the 7:30 Guided Tour
If you've enjoyed the tip
Please leave a little tip
A token for Bartholomew and me

(Repeat chorus w/wordless vocals to fade)