Lately all the songs I write
Are slow and on the mellow side

I used to stand on MTV,
But now they bring a chair for me

Let me get a tube of ointment
Let's rub my achy joints,
And turn my hearing aid loud,
And throw Depends into the crowd

This must be how it feels,
This must be how it feels,
To get old

If I try to play hard rock,
It'd probably put me into shock

Don't expect no big drum fills,
The drummer's lost his motor skills

So let's get to the point,
I'm as mellow as the Doobies

And when I head to the commode,
I just pray that I can go

And this must be how it feels,
To be old